What in hell just happened?
by Bendy0Straw
Summary: Clarice DeCaprio, an aspiring chemistry professor, ends in Amestris aware of the events about to occur in the FMA universe. Problem is she doesn't care, stuck wandering her world and this one Claire has to face difficult choices and learn the much hated game of politics to find out exactly what's going on and "what in hell just happened"
1. The Faithful Crash

_"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered."_

_-G. K. Chesterton_

A slender young woman stood outside The University of Cambridge, Auburn hair tumbled down in soft waves, a wide brimmed, cream hat shielded her from the rain, likewise droplets were rolling off a white trench coat with black buttons. The coat was draped down from her shoulders and at the end of the sleeves, black gloves hid hands with long thin fingers. One hand was gripping a gray leather briefcase; her other hand was tilting the brim of her hat back to reveal a smoldering dark brown pair of eyes. Eyes currently brimming with pride as she stood by the entrance in sheer wonder, she finally made it, years of hard work, or nights spent crying herself to sleep in fear that the elusive university eluded her, finally, she made it.

Of course she never had the grades to be a student here, not with the 2.5 GPA she achieved in the states. Clarice DeCaprio arrived as a professor, sure she's merely standing in for the day, but it's a step in the right direction. After all, every cheesy line in history says something about the first steps to greatness, and for once in her life this sounds about right. In fact just being here gave her a sense of coming home that just settled within her bones. Squaring her shoulders and gripping her briefcase Claire savored the sound of her heels clicking and clacking against the ground. Striding toward the science department Claire tried her best not to look like a lunatic as she gaped at the splendor of it all.

At the end of her day Claire was hard pressed to go home. She adored it here, everything was exactly as she dreamed it would be. The Chemistry department was a joy to work with treating her as though she was a colleague and the students were more attentive than she could ever hope for. Being a professor wasn't what she thought it would be, it was better. Running a hand against the wall, she slowly glided toward the doors her day was done, so Claire headed home.

Thoughts of Cambridge swirled around her mind, thoughts of how perfect everything was, how grand it felt, how science was a subject to be appreciated, and how maybe that wasn't the life she wanted. Pulling into the parking garage she sat their for a moment pondering her intense love, no yearning for science, for making herself something using her beloved chemistry. Opening her glove box for a cigar lighter, a copy of her high school years fell out. Laughing mirthlessly Claire picked up the Fullmetal Alchemist manga and said to herself "You may be the reason I adore chemistry but you're also the reason I was no good in school."

Placing the manga back and taking the lighter out Claire cut the Romeo y Julieta cigar and slipped in her mouth. Not looking as she was pulling out of the garage she was struck by a speeding on coming car.

The world blacked out as her head smashed onto the cold unforgiving concrete, wheels screeched to stop, the sound of screaming echoing, all were lost to the victim who simply lies in an ever growing pool of her own blood.

* * *

When she awoke it felt so strange. She was in a foreign land and with her last memory being an attempt to light one of her favorite cigars. Everything hurt. Groaning in pain Claire lightly touched her head, moments latter her hand was covered in blood. Fighting to stay awake and keep the darkness at bay she failed to notice she was in ally and that people were screaming and afraid, they were pointing at her shouting about human transmutation. However none of them helped her. Not a single person was able to put aside their mistrust and fear to be willing to approach the strange girl and save her.

As it stands the screaming attracted more attention and the sound of approaching footsteps caught her attention trying again Claire called out using the most pitiful, pathetic, scared voice she could muster "Please could you help me?" When the person stopped in front of her Claire had a thankful smile upon her visage only to be replaced with one of confusion as someone seemingly familiar offered her help. Pain and exhaustion struck as she almost gave in to the idea of rest just to be jolted awake by the familiar man. His voice was so rich, confident, and velvety that she couldn't help but listen letting it draw her back to reality as it said "Ms, I need you to stay awake a little bit longer. My name is Roy Mustang and help is on the way."

Trying to keep her mind off the fact that her body was in agony and that she couldn't breath very well anymore she scoffed "Right and I'm Riza Hawkeye."

Hearing him chuckle as he said "I didn't know she had friends outside the office, and I know my looks are better in person which might confuse you but I am him" the the flashing lights and and sirens appeared as she muttered "are you you the one with a head trauma."

In this moment, years down the line Claire will never be able to explain why the hopelessness of going home struck her, or why she entertained the thought that this wasn't some fucked up dream. That the guy who seemed to be the only thing she could focus on might be the real deal. Perhaps it was the rich baritone of his voice, the soft spoken underlying commands, or maybe it was the fact he simply felt to real when he held her hand and said "You are going to be ok."

During the ambulance ride Claire understood that when the paramedics said Amestris Central wasn't talking about some coincidentally name hospital, he meant a hospital in Amestris. All she could do was blame her moment of belief on the pain.

* * *

A/N: Edited I want to continue this story and it needed to be fixed big time


	2. In The Hospital

_"We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason."_

_-Unknown_

She was stuck in a hospital bed with no ID, unable to take a blood transfusion, and to add insult to injury the doctors refused to believe her when she said that she needed the chemical compound C17H19NO3 because they didn't know what morphine is. Rolling her eyes at the ineptitude of the doctors in wherever the fuck she's at. Sure they gave her something to take the edge off but the pain still comes in crippling waves.

In fact, it was in the middle of an "attack" when she received a visitor. In the middle of crying and sobbing into her pillow she had a visitor. It was the infamous Elric brothers. Distracted momentarily from the pain Claire looked up surprised and slightly concerned. Some part of her said to believe that this is them, except it couldn't be. Lost in her musing about gut feelings versus mind Edward spoke saying "I'm a State Alchemist here to talk to you about a rumored incident of human transmutation that you're rumored to be involved in."

Claire knew what his personality was like and she expected him to be gruff but that defiant tone in his voice with his arms crossed and a hard gleam in his eyes. Maybe it was the pain, or perhaps it was the fact that she partly believed that this is a hallucination but her demeanor softened, her shoulders relaxed, her normally sharp eyes smiled sadly, and her voice was right above a whisper as she said "I'm sorry about Nina, every time I think of it my heart hurts."

Then he snapped it was as though someone punched him in the face and continually kicked him in the ribs. Slamming his arm against the wall centimeters from her head he growled out "Fuck off, how dare you mention her! How the fuck do you even know!"

Slightly alarmed she back tracked "I'm a chemistry professor from London where I've already seen/read on how your lives play out! I don't want any trouble and I know that sounds insane but I can rattle off facts about you guys like it's no one's business," Seeing as they settled down a little and just looked confused Claire took a breath and continued "My name is Clarice DeCaprio. I'm an American by birth British by choice. My best guess is when I got in an accident someone must have tried human transmutation at the exact moment I lost consciousness and the gate stole me from my world to here. Basically I'm from an alternate universe where this is a work of well written or animated fiction."

Ed simply shook his head and growled "you expect us to believe that-" Al cut him off "Brother, she can prove it, if she knows everything it's provable."

Claire quickly understood where this was going "I can tell you everything about the incident with your mother, that's essentially your origin story. I can after Nina the next big thing was Hughes dying-"

This time it was Al who cut her off sounding confused and scared "What do you mean Maes dies?"

"Fuck" Claire flopped back on to her bed and let out a silent scream as it it caused pain to shoot throughout her entire body. "Tell you this, get me morphine or C17H19NO3 and Colonel Mustang then I'll tell everything. I don't want to repeat myself."

Edward looked as though he was about to argue but seeing tears of pain roll down her face as she looked away, along with the fact she probably looked like a filthy tired mess, made the argument die before it could even happen. Leaving the room with a quiet "we'll be right back"

Groaning into her pillow Claire moaned that life truly was unfair. This is an awful long hallucination, but if it wasn't she's been uprooted from her life at home. She no longer has the potential to be a professor, she doesn't have friends her ex-fiancé and current best friend is probably worried sick and that thought hurt more than a lot of things. She misses him. Sure they didn't work romantically because Claire got to jealous too quick for him and he seemingly never cared enough but that doesn't mean she doesn't care for him, nor him for her. Right now he must be out of his mind with worry or something. Because surely someone must notice she isn't there, because she is needed to at least one person… right?

Pulled out her musing a knock was heard from the door. "Ms. DeCaprio?" Al called as he peered in "Yes Mr. Elric?" "Is this compound safe?" Claire blinked "Morphine is a complicated process with multiple steps it starts out as essentially raw opium and through MeOH, Alkaloids, and filtration it becomes an addictive but highly efficient pain killer. It's important to maintain a high PH level during… what am I saying. Al just ignore getting me morphine."

"Too late old hag." Edward walked in with about 42 oz of what looked like morphine. Blinking in surprise Claire remarked "that should have taken you days with a proper lab… how did you… you just did 5 or 6 stages of transmutations to avoid the 'cooking' period didn't you?" "…something like that" "Ed I can't use this stuff. Sure you guys are smart and highly gifted but at the end of the day you are just kids who were forced to grow up far too fast. To allow myself to take medication created by you would be irresponsible."

Edward looked pissed. "So what you don't think this is good enough! That I can't handle making medication. I've done things that most people wouldn't be able to dream of doing. Screw you I'm talented and wouldn't dare give someone-"

"Ed." Claire cut him off before he jumped the gun and thought had to do with him being short or something. "You're smart, wonderful, and still just a kid. You've suffered, more than most and you've been forced to grow up far too fast but the fact still remains that; You. Are. A. Child. Your role is to learn about life, to respect your elders and figure out who you are and who you want to be, as an adult my role is to guard you and guild you as you figure that out."

It was in that moment when she realized just how jaded Ed and Al became from their lifestyle. You can't get much from a suit of armor in body language but Ed looked like he truly wanted to believe her except he couldn't bring his guard down enough to believe her. After a moment of silence Al said mournfully with a haunted touch that perhaps came from the echo of the armor "That's not how life works for us."

Shaking her head Claire said "You shouldn't accept anything less."

Before the conversation could continue someone cleared their throat. Looking at the doorway stood none other than Colonel Mustang; to which she, perhaps a bit to sassily, said "You're late."


End file.
